My first 3 jokes :-)))

Gender differences

A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter. "What are you doing?" she asked.

"Hunting flies," he responded.

"Oh! Killing any?" she asked.

"Yep, 3 males, 2 females," he replied.

Intrigued, she asked, "How can you tell them apart?"

He responded, "3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone."


The Boy from Minnesota

There was a boy who worked in the produce section of a super market. A man came in and asked to buy half a head of lettuce. The boy told him that they only sold whole heads of lettuce, but the man replied that he did not need a whole head, only half. The boy explained that he would have to ask the manager and so he walked into the back room and said, "There is some jerk out there who wants to buy only a half a head of lettuce." As he finished saying this, he turned around to find the man standing right behind him, so he quickly added, "And this gentleman wants to buy the other half."

The manager okayed the request and the man went on his way. Later on the manager said to the boy, "You almost got yourself in a lot of trouble earlier, but I must say I was impressed with the way you got out of it. You think on your feet and we like that around here. Where are you from, son?" The boy replied, "Minnesota, sir." "Oh, really? Why did you leave Minnesota?" inquired the manager.

The boy replied, "They're all just whores and hockey players up there." "My wife is from Minnesota", exclaimed the manager. The boy instantly replied, "Really! What team did she play for?"


Life on the MOON

INDIA plans to put its men on the moon in the year 2020 which has caused a lot of excitement all over. The Ansals, Parsavnaths, Rahejas might have already started thinking of buying land and developing residential colonies there. The Ambanis are brainstorming over setting up refineries, communication systems and launching their mobile phone service — "Kar lo chand muthi mein."

Punjabis and Gujaratis, who are tired of settling down in the UK and the USA, will be ambitious enough to settle on the moon. Many would be interested in opening up space dhabas. Imagine a spaceship to moon stopping for a snack break and astronauts eating bread pakoras with tea at "Kaake da space dhaba".

Lovers would not risk singing songs like "Chalo dildaar chand ke paar chalo". Because now if his beloved says yes, he will have to undertake a costly journey to the moon.

But women probably wouldn’t be too excited about going to the moon unless some good malls are opened there.

Also one will have to be very careful about the travel agents. Before accepting their travel plan schedule, be sure to get everything clear. Otherwise, on return people will be heard saying, "Hamein to hamare travel agent ne loot liya — wahan jaakar bataya ke oxygen ka kharcha khane peene mein included nahin tha!"